The Slaughterhouse Massacre (2005)

Very very predictable, including the post credit scene !!!

Brilliant and touching

It’s an especially fun movie from a director and cast who are clearly having a good time allowing themselves to let loose.

It's hard to see any effort in the film. There's no comedy to speak of, no real drama and, worst of all.

Perfectly dreadful, no budget slaughterhouse slasher that's sluggishly paced, with poorly executed gore attacks and wretched performances from a talentless cast. The director, Paul Gagné(emphasis on GAG)also stars as the killer, Marty, whose been dead for 10 years thanks to a group of college kids who hung him in revenge for his murder of their friend(..barely surviving this, he also beheaded by a naked girl whose sex partner was stabbed in the back with a sickle). Marty is conjured back to life thanks to a rhyme, spoken by four college students within the chalk outline of his fallen body. He stalks them throughout his darkened slaughterhouse, sickle in hand, killing each when they're at the most vulnerable. The only way, according to some myth, to stop Marty is to behead him. Lame story-line apes the Bloody Mary tale, to bad effect, and Gagné shoots a lengthly walk through of the slaughterhouse hoping to build dread, instead inducing the viewer into a comatose state..dare to try not to nod off as the four students, football stars Bobby(Vaedynn Orland)& Justin(Maurizio Rasti)and their girls, Tina(Stacey Denson)& Stacey(Shaila Vaidya)trip through the abattoir for several minutes, screaming multiple times, before locating the place where the killer was finished off. Marty mines Freddy Krueger, cracking wise, as he pursues his prey. The film has an opening sex session with a couple in '93, who are to be attacked by Marty, which then segues to a class room where a teacher warns Justin and Bobby of passing a class assignment or else suffer a failing grade(..this whole scene could've been left on the cutting room floor, only servicing the plot in regards to them being college students), retreating into a rather pointless and annoyingly long party with drinks, weed-smoking, and naked lesbian chicks kissing. Finally, after half an hour of tedious filler, does the film finally find itself in the abattoir where the slasher formula develops. Skip this one and save yourself an enormous amount of boredom and aggravation..SLAUGHTERHOUSE MASSACRE is a taxing experience that just isn't worth it. Attractive leads, Vaidya and Denson, do provide nice eye candy, though.I'm definitely an advocate for low budget filmmakers, but suggest at least finding enough funding to adequately deliver decent production values and effectively executed graphic violence. Of course it also takes talent and many low budget directors have actually created a real sense of dread and spooky atmosphere..in SLAUGHTERHOUSE MASSACRE, such is not the case.

It was basically a rubbish porno. Pathetic excuse for a film. Although Marty Sickle does have some awesome one liners. Rubbish. Not very good. I would not recommend it. Blonde girl was pretty fit. Strange story line. Weird psycho killer man. Marty sickle rules. His victims drule. This is not a poem. This is me writing ten lines so i can give my review of the film. Thankyou for listening. It was basically a rubbish porno. Pathetic excuse for a film. Although Marty Sickle does have some awesome one liners. Rubbish. Not very good. I would not recommend it. Blonde girl was pretty fit. Strange story line. Weird psycho killer man. Marty sickle rules. His victims drule. This is not a poem. This is me writing ten lines so i can give my review of the film. Thankyou for listening.

Sickle /Slaughterhouse MassacreIf you like movies full of bad acting, bad plot, a leading lady that cant act and a hilarious killer you will still not enjoy this movie. how bad was this movie?, well I asked for a refund the next day and the retail shop kindly refunded me. Now you know. I almost thought they made a mistake at the rental shop at the opening scene. It looked like a cheap porno movie, but it wasn't.Where to begin.The party..must be the first party in history were only beautiful women are allowed. The lack of liquor and people smoking cigarettes are overwhelming, just one smoking pot. Why do all of this kind of movie always have a beautiful actress who cant act to play the leading role? She were beyond annoyingly bad.PlotDrunk teenage college kinds gets the idea to go and visit the legendary slaughter house.(but the leading lady Mandy keep telling them let's go home).But when they accidentally revive murderer Marty Sickle all hell breaks loose . Marty sickle must be the worst killer/ghost/demon in history.The dialog in this movie are almost as bad as the acting. Not even one person cant act. Have a heart. Don't say I didn't warn you.

The Slaughterhouse Massacre starts at a Dallas college during 2003 where everyone is about to break up for the spring break, two couples Bobby (Vaedynn Orland) & Tina (Stacey Denson) plus Justin (Maurizio Rasti) & Stacey (Shaila Vaidya) decide to have a party that night. At the party their friend Stoner (Jacob Baily) tells them about an urban myth revolving around a slaughterhouse in the town of Allen in Texas, apparently ten years ago this very night a worker called Marty Sickle (Paul Cagney) was killed by a gang of thugs & if you say his rhyme three times in the slaughterhouse Marty will come back from the dead & kill everyone. Justin & Bobby think it would be fun to take their girlfriends to the slaughterhouse & play a trick on them using the myth, unfortunately for them the myth turns out to be true & before they know it they are running for their lives as the undead Marty kills them one-by-one...Known under the title Sickle here in the UK & in Australia while the Japanese apparently know it as Texas Slaughter this unbearably bad teen slasher was co-produced, written & directed by Paul Gagné & one really does have to say right from the start that The Slaughterhouse Massacre is a terrible film in every single way. To be honest after the first few minutes I thought it could have turned out to be a decent gory slasher, I mean a slasher set in a slaughterhouse has potential right? All the dark mucky corridors, all the animal carcasses & of course all the knives, bone saw's, meat hooks & various equipment used to slaughter & slice up the animals would have made for a great setting. Unfortunately I don't think the film was shot in a real slaughterhouse since it doesn't look like a slaughterhouse & everything about the film is uniformly terrible even for a low budget teen slasher, the character's are awful (after an expensive video camera falls into a tub of muddy water they just leave it, these are the sort of people who can't walk in a straight line with falling over, tripping over something, bumping into something or twisting their ankle & when one finally escapes instead of going for help she heads straight back to the slaughterhouse), the storyline rips-off various other slasher films like the rhyme from A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), the whole say his name three times & he will appear scenario from Candyman (1992) & the whole wise-cracking undead killer from beyond the grave has been done to death. At almost 100 minutes in length the film is also incredibly boring, most viewers will lose the will to live long before the end credits roll, I know I did.The first five minutes or so had potential, first there's the title 'The Slaughterhouse Massacre' which is very evocative. I mean the word 'slaughterhouse' conjures up a place of blood, gore, suffering & death, the word 'massacre' again gives one the impression lots of people are going to die but I wouldn't exactly call four people killed a massacre, would you? Then there's that crazy chick at the start, the very first line of dialogue in the film is some teenage blonde girl saying 'I want to make love where they slaughter all of those animals', right lets just think about that statement. Why would anyone want to have sex in a slaughterhouse? At this point the film should go for a light hearted tone but the whole film takes itself very seriously & it just falls apart because of how moronic it is. The gore levels are disappointing, there's no slaughterhouse footage, two people are cut in half, one vertically the other horizontally, someone gets a sickle in the back, there are a couple of quick decapitations & that's about it.With a supposed budget of about $250,000 The Slaughterhouse Massacere is extremely poorly made, the editing is horrible & it's sometimes impossible to work out whats happening although that could be down to the production team not shooting enough footage. The effects are poor, the cinematography is awful with huge changes in lighting between shots & camera angles which barely let you see anything. The acting is terrible too although the girls look quite nice I suppose.The Slaughterhouse Massacre is a truly terrible film in every conceivable way, there are one or two unintentionally funny moments which made me chuckle but overall sitting through 100 odd minutes of this in one go turned out to be a painful experience. You have been warned.